This is meant to be neither intelligent, reasoned, nor reasonable. It’s not lucid, it doesn’t reflect how I feel all of the time, and I know much of this sounds like me being a petulant asshole. None of this, in turn, reflects the opinions of the people that associate themselves with me for some silly reason.
I have a dream:
• that, unless there is a valid reason (injury/disability/lack of viable walkway), no person may be allowed to ride a bus for fewer than five stops between the hours of 7 and 10 AM.
• that there be ONE classification of driver’s license, and that every driver be required to learn how to drive everything from a bicycle to a semi-truck.
• that people who don’t believe in a woman’s right to choose ought to have all their pregnancies terminated until they do. If they don’t like it, they can just not have sex.
• that public school teachers, firefighters, soldiers, police officers, and support staff for government buildings (janitors, food service workers, etc.) Shall pay no federal or state taxes, and that the United States income tax rates would return to World War II-era levels after adjustment for the change in cost of goods and services.
•that all professional sports teams be required to purchase the venues in which they play, that all professional athletes be required to negotiate their own contracts, that all player contracts have a player option at the end of each season, and that, should a player choose to renegotiate their contract at the end of a season and both sides cannot agree on a new one by the beginning of free agency, the player may not play for any team in the league for a full calendar year and the team loses all their draft picks and may not sign any free agents not already on their team.
•that all children whose parents bestowed upon then a name with no clear linguistic origin may be allowed to change their given name for free at the age of 18, and that all people who elect not to change their stupid name have to take a parenting exam.
•…for that matter, I dream that sex would be treated like any other dangerous necessity in that people be required to obtain licensure in order to do it. Said license (which could be obtained at the age of 15 with a parent/guardian’s signature and at age 17 without) would include a separate endorsement for parenthood that would have to be renewed, free-of-charge, every two years until the holder turns 25 REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT THEY HAVE CHILDREN. Punishment for having sex without a license? Mandatory vasectomy for males and mandatory emergency contraception for females, to be paid for by the offender through community service in public educational institutions.
That’s all I can think of right now.
